I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
