So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
