haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
