And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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