Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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