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I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
