Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
