lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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