We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
You know, be my cock's hype man.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
