Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
My bed smells like the plague
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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