I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
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