it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Of course I have a pirate flag
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
