Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
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