i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
