thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
