it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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