I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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