You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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