the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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