Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
