I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize