just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
