No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Randomize
