I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
