just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize