You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
