I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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