Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
