seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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