Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
