Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
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