I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
it hurts more in the daytime
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
