508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
