And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
