We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
