i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
