Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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