thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
