Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
