yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
