Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
