belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
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