Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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