so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
