yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
