so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
