Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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