Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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