I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
