This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
