Sponge bath it is.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
