They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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