I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
