The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
