whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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