We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Randomize
