Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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