I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Enjoy the penises
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
