Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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