I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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