This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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