gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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