I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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