And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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